Hiding Myself In Your Eyes
by LunarFlare14
Summary: Snape regretted few things in his life. One being never making things right with her. Snape's point of view of the end of The Elder Wand chapter in Book seven. SPOILERS! Ye be warned. Severus/Lily


SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I finished the seventh book at 12:38 pm on July 21, and it took me 10:14 minutes to do it! This is the end of Chapter Thirty-two the Elder Wand Pov Snape.

You have been WARNED!;

LF14

Severous Snape let out a terrible scream as the cage flew at him causing his knees to give way. His eyes widened in pain as the snake bit his neck. He felt the snake's poison begin to flow through his veins. This was it he, was going to die. The dark lord said something he couldn't hear, then he pointed his newly acquired wand at the cage which floated upward towards the ceiling. As the cage was removed he fell sideways onto the floor, blood gushing from the wounds in his neck. Maybe Voldemort left maybe he stuck around it make sure he died. It didn't matter, nothing had matter to him for a long time. All the things he could have done differently, the things that could have not ended so badly. Through the pain he sensed something next to him move, strangely standing out as he floated between life and death. Someone was still in the room, and for a fleeting instance he thought it was the dark lord. That was not the last thing he wanted to see. His fingers mover of their own accord trying to staunch the bloody would at his neck, he knew he couldn't move away.

Suddenly, out of no where, appeared figure and relief swam over him as the face went in and out of focus. Harry. So the dark lord was running off to no one. Harry was still alive. He felt all the memories begin to flow with the blood, coming out of his eyes, and ears, and he tasted it in his mouth, but he was no longer afraid. The end was coming on quickly now, and a sense of urgency filled him. He wanted Harry to know. He wanted him to understand. And so, he poured out his heart to the boy in desperation and shame, not forgetting to include the most crucial moments between him and Dumbledore, at the former headmaster's request. Things he hoped would fill in the holes Harry might have in his plans..

"Take... it... Take... It..." It came out after a terrible rasping gurgling noise. He watched in the haze as Hermione the clever Muggle-born girl was there and conjured a flask and Harry gathered the liquid with shaky hands. His thoughts wondered and landed on the first time he laid eyes on the boy in the Great Hall, the image of the man he had detested and been taunted by. It was like living those days all over again. Being flipped upside down and humiliated. He'd glared at him for a good amount of time and was caught off guard when Harry turned, caught his eye, then glared fiercely back with those bright green eyes and nearly swore. Dumbledore had not been bluffing; they were Lily's to a T.

Old memories stirred of the time he first saw Lily a very long time ago and fell in love with her on sight. Of course, he was never able to do anything right by her. Always pushing her away and getting angry when she was just trying to help. Truth be told he never loved her right. Lily was not the type to love one person. She loved everyone and could find the good in them even when they couldn't see it in themselves. She needed someone who wouldn't cage that love to keep to themselves. He hadn't loved her right until Dumbledore showed him how he was doing it wrong. Until it was to late. It was why being a Death Eater had seemed the natural option. Why he was drawn to the Dark Arts. So easily manipulated by the Dark Lord. He'd have forgotten love entirely without Lily. His only way to redeem himself seemed to be to look after Harry.

He had not realized he was gripping the boy's robes until his grip slackened. He felt drained and weary but there was one thing he needed before he pasted on. One thing to give him the courage to make the journey. He manage to get out his final request, with much difficulty, "Look... At... Me..." He whispered. Just one more time, he wanted to see those eyes that looked just like her's. For a moment he met the boys bright green eyes and felt himself leaving his body. Suddenly he wanted to say more, to apologize, or at least say thank you. He wished he'd given the boy a chance. Gotten to know him better. To see if he truly had his mother's heart of gold that he saw shimmering behind those eyes. In them he saw her. The girl who'd freaked out her sister with magic tricks, doubted Hogwarts, ask about dementors, defended her sibling, and wouldn't speak to him when he said such a hateful thing to her. She defended him and warned him, and all he'd done was hurt her. All he seemed to do was hurt her.

Yes, he may be Potter's son. But he was Lily's, too. The son of the woman he love with all his broken heart until the second it stopped beating.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Severous sat up with a start, one moment in the old Shrieking Shack, the next on this grassy plain. Nobody else was there. He wonder if he was even there. The sky was a dull even coat of gray, as if about to rain. Suddenly he heard the sound of rushing water over rocks and looked around in confusing. He stood and stumbled across the grass to realize the world was slowly materializing around him. A river began to appear along with a bridge, both extended so far they were lost in a fog. He looked down into the river to find he was in his late twenties. He wondered if this was all a dream. Perhaps he wasn't dead yet. But the hope dwindled as quickly as it had sparked. There on the bridge was a tall red haired figure he knew all to well just outside the range of the fog. She turned and smiled at him, giving him a little wave. He left the bank for the bridge's beginning and ran to her. He snatched her up and spun her around. She laughed and he laughed, "I've missed you, too, Sev. Now please put me down." He did so and couldn't stop grinning. Then out of the fog emerged three figures that caused him to glare; Sirius, Remus, and, of course, James. They weren't smiling at him as Lily was and they didn't say anything either. Snape found he preferred it. "We've got to go, Harry has called us." her smiled turned rueful and the three males walked past. Lily held back, "If you wait I'll walk back with you. We shouldn't be gone long." She gave him a warm hearted look, "I've heard how you watched over Harry. I can't begin to describe how grateful I am." He frowned causing her smile to falter, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just feel as if I've never done right by you."

She laughed, "Harry knows his fate, and he goes to it bravely. We'll show him the way back."

"But it was all for nothing."

She shook her head at him, "Maybe for you but to me it's everything. That's my boy, Severous. My pride, joy, and love. And he doesn't even know how you've helped him over the years."

"He does now." She tilted her head to the side a bit, the way she always use to when she was confused or intrigued, "I told him, everything. Everything I've ever kept from him. I just wanted to help him understand."

"I don't know how he's suppose to understand if I can't. I haven't, ever since we were little."

He gave her a weak smile, filled with the sadness, "You'll always be the one that got away." He looked at the men who stood impatiently at the end of the bridge. All about sixteen years younger than they should have been. "Well you should be going. Harry can't wait forever."

Suddenly she hugged him tightly, "I know you didn't mean it, Sev. But as I said before, I couldn't follow you down the path you had chosen. I'm sorry if I hurt you." Lily then released him and waled toward the three at the end of the bridge and continued on until she disappeared in the mist beyond.

He turned to the gray mass behind him and took a deep breath. Before heading into the fog he looked back at the place where Lily disappeared, and smiled, "You never hurt me Lily. Never. Maybe that's why I loved you."


End file.
